Worship leading is a beautiful privilege and massive responsibility. I have found it is a struggle to hold both of these truths in tension all the time. This past week reminded me rather pointedly that both of these statements are equally true and essential. Godly leadership requires that you have to maintain humility and an open posture for feedback while keeping a thick skin and expecting scrutiny.
Inside of 24 hours this weekend, I had a congregation member attack me via text while another one gift me something very thoughtful as a gesture of appreciation. High mountains and low valleys are part of being in ministry to be sure, but I so desperately need grace and Christ’s presence to level the terrain. I don’t often respond the way I want to. I weather one storm to be spun around by the next. And then in his kindness, God sends an encourager, an ally, or a grateful word.
Feeling a bit beat up and rattled, I wrote this confession for our gatherings on Sunday, mostly because I needed it:
Though made in the image of a giving God,
we have withheld from others.
Though made in the image of a patient God,
we have lost our patience.
Though made in the image of a Savior that willingly took our punishment,
we defend ourselves and demonize others.
Though made in the image of a God of kindness,
we consider our own needs above others.
As always, I’m thankful for a God who is for me, who never provokes us, puts words in our mouths, or assumes the worst. In fact, I am increasingly convinced that he is for me…a truth I’ve known in my head for two decades but a “heart belief” I’ve found slippery. My faith is small and my Savior is great.