Sometime around age 14 I decided that my bedroom needed a major overhaul. I basically woke up one morning and realized that my disaster of a room wasn't as cool as I thought. It didn't communicate independence and freedom as I previously believed. In fact I was suddenly pretty sure that it communicated that I myself was a disheveled disaster.

As I gazed around the room, I noticed that the most noticeable visual offender was the stack of decrepit and dilapidated CB radios on the shelf closest to the door. I had gathered these from garage sales over the years, a hobby I inherited from my grandfather. Most of them were not working, but a man can never have enough CB radios. My conversations with passing truckers on the nearby highway were often salty and a great place for me to learn new words I could throw around at school.

I decided that this CB graveyard would be the starting point for my full frontal attack on the clutter in my room. After clearing the shelf and inhaling a whole farm of dust-bunnies, I stared at the newly resurrected shelf and wondered what should replace my communicative toys.

The first thing that grabbed my attention was a collection of dusty trophies. These were mostly obligatory "great attitude" or "most improved" type trophies. Most kids who were at my caliber of play knew that they really should read, "you used to suck worse" or "thanks for not quitting and making me look like a bad coach". I dusted them off and placed them neatly side by side on the shelf. Regardless of the means by which I obtained them, they were a bit of a treasure to me.

I was recently reading when Jesus said that casting out demons, while amazing and supernatural, was not the fix that a demonized person required. In fact he went so far to say that if you remove an "unclean spirit" from the space of someone's body, and don't follow up with a replacing of that same space with the Spirit, that the person is actually worse off. Not only that, but he mentions that the demon would return and find "the house swept and put in order". Those words bounced around my head for a bit, as I wondered what that means and if I knew what that looks like.

Immediately I began thinking of all the people that taste the things of the Kingdom, and maybe even experience a season of victory over an area of struggle, but quickly resort to tactics of self-reliance. They start removing the things that cause them to struggle but never address the issue of treasuring Jesus, making him utmost, and loving His kingship. The picture we have in Scripture of repenting has 2 parts: then turning from, and the turning toward. Yet the turning from is what is emphasized and what most people identify as repentance. I've assuredly seen this in my own actions and felt this in my own chest.

There are very few guarantees in life, but I feel confident guaranteeing that if you remove temptation, modify behaviors, or resolve to change but never receive and treasure Jesus, it is only a matter of time before things go back to the old way or even get worse.

Jesus isn't looking for clean shelves. He is interested in being our treasure and filling our shelves with the things that only He can provide. The beautiful experience of walking with Christ, is that when He is your trophy on the shelf, the rest of your house looks different. He takes your life of disarray and breathes peace and change into the messiest of rooms.

²⁴"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' ²⁵And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. ²⁶Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first."
Luke 11

Shortly after moving into our current home five years ago, I began to recognize certain critters that would frequent our address. Of these creatures, my favorite was Mordecai.

Mordecai is a dove.

Mordecai had hard working parents that tried to provide for him a suitable life. They left several summers ago and left him to fend for himself. He struggled for a while, but presumably urged by the pangs of spring hunger, he finally flew the nest. I saw a few of his early attempts and they were not the icon of grace and triumph one would hope for.

These days, Mordecai has grown up a bit. He's seen stuff. He's learned things an upstanding dove needs to know in order to survive in the 89503.

Last year he found a mate and they built a nest in the exact same location as his parents did in years previously, my ornamental cherry tree. That seemed to work well for them. Sturdy branches. Protected from predators.

This year however, was different. Despite the experience of last year they landed on a new location, the young pine tree in my lawn.

I took the picture above 2 days ago. 2 snowy eggs lay nestled along side each other.

Then this one below was taken yesterday after the typical gale-force wind gusts that frequent Reno in the spring:

The wind knocked the nest clean out of the tree. Eggs. Gone. Doves. Gone.

I remember when I was a new Christian someone was speaking on why we aren't taken up to Heaven the moment we trust Jesus. The speaker phrased it as if this was a question that had plagued everyone, burning us alive, robbing us of peace, and wreaking havoc on our faith. He was going to solve the mystery so we could all sleep better.

The question had never crossed my mind.

What had crossed my mind, was that even though you trust Jesus once and that salvation has a starting point, learning to trust everyday was for more difficult; making tiny decisions that reflect that trust a much taller task. In fact, I saw in my friends and in my own heart the ability to completely forget what I had learned yesterday and choose self, choose me, choose sin.

Even though God had shown me the futility of my own plans, and the cracks in my own foundation, I was quick to return to those old tattered construction plans. I was and still am very capable and even willing at times to build my life on things that will not last. Some of those things are revealed by the slightest breeze, and others require a potent storm to be pried out of my heart. Sometimes things have to come crashing down for us to even realize what we are doing. It's in these moments of clarity that we can make incredible headway in our relationship with Jesus.

Learning what a firm foundation is can not alone save you from the storm. You actually have to build your life on it. Brick by brick, choice by choice, moment by moment. The good news is that Christ gives himself as strength and power to do just that.

I hope Mordecai comes back. I think he could make another run at life here and make it.

When you are a music pastor for a while, you start to wonder if God secretly slipped magnets into your pockets that attract very specific kinds of people.

I've been thinking recently about the commonalities that many of these folks share, and how Jesus conversed with these kinds of people. I'm not usually one for putting people into boxes or categories but the trends have been so strong I decided to pen them out as a reference for myself down the road.

I should preface this all by saying that I see these three people in my heart sometimes, and it freaks me out. It is a frequent and needed reminder that ministry has its pitfalls and snares that will leave you bleeding if you are not aware and cautious.

#1. THE INSPECTOR
Every church has at least a few of these. This guy will gladly chat with you after services about how the typo in the slides ruined his worship experience, or how his parking spot was taken when he arrived. The sermon was too long and the music was too loud. If three dead theologians are not referenced during the sermon you are labeled a seeker-church with a watered-down gospel.

He is critical to the core, and can find faults in others without even trying. The amount of critique will typically be inverse to the amount of courage; to help, to serve, to ever be a part of the solution (assuming he saw something that was indeed not right). They have no follow-through and if you challenge this guy enough times they usually leave in a huff, exasperated that no one is listening to their wisdom and guidance. If their ideas aren't honored, then the clock is ticking before they leave permanently.

This guy is a staple of any church, and my observation is that healthy churches challenge them and unhealthy ones fear them and in some cases appoint them as leaders.

COMES DRESSED IN: Collared shirt, tucked in, and a shiny watch.

DANGERS: giving them authority, fearing them, basing decisions off their opinions, and confusing them with godly folks that want to help and move the ministry forward.

#2. THE JAMMER
This next guy is really nice, and most people like him. He will have a MySpace page with some songs he recorded on his laptop using an internal microphone. He wants to help with the music but he has no formal training or experience of any kind, outside of his jam sessions with his dorm-mate. He has strong opinions about how the heart is the only thing that matters in ministry. If you approach the subject of calling or gifting then things will get ugly fast. He commonly questions the need for the use of technology in corporate worship and will invite you over to his house to jam if he likes you. If you politely decline those invites you can count on a CD finding its way to your desk/mailbox/guitar case within 1-2 weeks.

COMES DRESSED IN: Socks with sandals and Christian rip-off tee (ya know, like "A-bread-crumb and Fish," or "Get Outta Hell Free Card."

DANGERS: Putting them on stage before testing them, going over to their house to jam (this will end in hurt feelings 9 times out of 10).

#3 THE ARTIST
Music ministry is a natural landing pad for this last guy. You will often hear about this guy 2nd hand from his friends or a mutual acquaintance. He can fly through a guitar solo almost as fast as his allowance from his parents. Jobs don't appeal to him because it cuts into his online gaming schedule. He's 21, living at home and goes to a lot of concerts that his parents pay for.

Deeply talented and seldom timely, this guy is late to everything. If this guy had a pet fish, it died years ago and is likely still decaying in the bowl. He doesn't know the color of the carpet in his bedroom and the only budgeting skills he has is figuring how much food you can get at Taco Bell for $10.

Again, he is really good at guitar.

COMES DRESSED IN: Overpriced graphic tees, skinny jeans, and slip-on loafers.

DANGERS: Styling your hair like them. They can pull it off. You can not. Letting them slip through the cracks (challenge them to step up!)

And so there you have it. Three guys that I most certainly see at church and in my own heart.
In fact, it is most certainly the presence of these character issues in my heart that allowsme to spot them so readily in others. Isn't that how it usually works?

I want to never criticize the church if I am unwilling to be her champion. I want to make sure my heart is repentant and focused on the works of Christ before I lead others in worship. I want to be known for following through on my word and my service to others.

Jesus help me.

DZ