“You shall not commit adultery” is not a small‑minded "no". It’s a giant "yes" to connection, commitment, creation, and protection. Jesus doesn’t narrow the command—He deepens it—because He wants more for us than behavior management.

Beyond Line‑Drawing: From Loopholes to Lordship

Jesus takes the seventh commandment and presses it into the inner life: “everyone who looks at a woman in order to lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:27–28). He’s not criminalizing noticing beauty; He’s confronting a direction of desire. Lust is rehearsed adultery. Holiness is not the absence of attraction; it’s the presence of allegiance.

Four Purposes: The “Anothers” of Sex

1. Connection (Intimacy with another). God designed a bonding process that harmonizes body, emotion, and spirit. Your neurochemistry agrees—oxytocin and vasopressin reward trust and union. Within covenant love, sex becomes a language of “I’m with you, fully.”
2. Consummation (Commitment to another). Public vows become embodied reality. Sex is not a souvenir of the wedding; it is part of the covenant glue that makes two become one flesh (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5–6). Detached from covenant, sex eventually becomes hollow and then toxic.
3. Creation (Welcoming another). Pro‑creation isn’t the only purpose of sex, but it is a real and joyful one (Gen. 1:28; Ps. 127:3). We partner with our Creator to welcome image‑bearers. To reduce sex to procreation is an error; to ignore procreation is another.
4. Protection (Defense of another). “Do not deprive one another…so that Satan may not tempt you” (1 Cor. 7:5). Mutual generosity in marriage is spiritual warfare—guarding one another from isolation and fantasy’s lies.

Very little “me.” A whole lot of “another.”

About Porneia and the Bible’s Moral Map

When Jesus lists what defiles (Mark 7:20–23), He includes porneia—a broad term for sexual immorality that covers adultery, fornication, and other practices outside the one‑man, one‑woman covenant pattern of Genesis. The New Testament consistently reaffirms that pattern (Matt. 19:4–6; 1 Tim. 1:8–11). The church has sometimes been harsh or hypocritical; we lament that. But softening the map doesn’t make the journey safer. Clarity is not cruelty. Clarity is kindness.

From Behavior to Belonging

“You are not your own; you were bought with a price” (1 Cor. 6:19–20). The commandments are not a ladder for climbing to God but a light for walking with God. We don’t obey to be loved; we obey because we are loved—and because that love is remaking us.

Questions for Reflection

1. Which of the four purposes is most undernourished in your marriage right now?
2. Where are you looking for loopholes instead of submitting your loves to the Lord?

A Simple Prayer

Father, teach me to love my spouse as You have loved me—faithfully, tenderly, sacrificially.